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Bedroom Demos 2021

by Josaleigh Pollett

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1.
I start to wonder if my heroes had made it, would they still be heroes to me? Molina and Berman, it was sadness that killed them. Now they're dead and I can't get to sleep. Kicking rocks off the edge, counting times that I left, wearing loss like a badge not a blight. If you sit in the dark for too long at one time, you start to adjust to the light. I carry them with me - my sad old sleep singers. They comfort me when I can't help myself. And I'll look to Barlow and Darnielle living - find hope in a space on the shelf.
2.
Grown from seed, we bought the smallest house. Small green leaves, swore to God you coaxed them out. I used to say they were my favorite flower, but now my mind goes blank, because you cut them all down when you moved out I hate sunflowers now. It was easy to feel like it was cruelty. To call myself a victim. To say you never knew me. But I read today about clearing gardens to make some room for new seeds to grow in. So when you cut them all down - you were clearing things out. I guess I don't hate sunflowers now. I don't hate sunflowers now.
3.
4.
Trying to reconcile my heart and my head what I know to be true but I can't believe yet. Dog shit and trash under the overpass. A feeling unwell, get your hackles up fast. We love to empty the world and resent what doesn't last. Snow fall is needed, still curse at the cold. Still curse at my body - I was singing/it got old. I fell asleep while you cried, I put your heart in my chest. I'm awake and can't remember whose promises I kept. We're angry at the world. Blame our parents, pay the rent.
5.
Tongue-tied, being quiet a lot. Building up pressure, pretending there's not an ocean between us - did I ask can you swim? I have lost myself often, I will do it again. Like I knew I would. Like I tend to do. What is it you like? I could like that, too. We are two different mouths speaking different languages, our hurt built on words that the other can't understand. To hold me can't fix it, though you try every night. I am speaking in tongues, you will put up a fight. Like we thought it was, like we thought we knew. Before you and I could be me and you. All anyone ever needed to give me was a song that I could read into. Listen on repeat, crying "what could this mean?" Turns out you only liked it for the tempo.
6.

credits

released January 23, 2021

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Josaleigh Pollett Salt Lake City, Utah

Tender and thoughtful DIY indie rock. The band is currently Josaleigh Pollett on writing and singing the lyrics and strumming some of those guitars, and Jordan Watko on literally everything else.

header photo by Kyle Ford. Bio art by @HelveticaBlanc
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